
There are two kinds of ‘what might have been’ games when it comes to Hollywood. The most popular is the fascination with actors who died young, such as James Dean -what projects might they have done. There was a sudden surge of this type of speculation after the death of Heath Ledger.
The other camp, of which I am a member, is that of film fans who wonder how films that were never made might have turned out. Alejandro Jodorowsky’s Dune, with the eye-catching casting of Salvador Dali as Emperor of the Galaxy. Vincent Ward’s unproduced script for Alien 3, describing Ripley’s encounter with an order of monks inhabiting a wooden satellite. Alex Cox’s Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, scuppered when Hunter S. Thompson took a dislike to the quirky Englishman.
This material fascinates me and led me to buy David Hughes’ The Greatest Sci-Fi Movies Never Made. The bookstore owner of The Film & Television Specialist Bookshop in Newtown was taken aback by my choice. He only had the one copy and didn’t suspect there would be any interest in a book about films not made. I launched into something of a rant with him when I noticed listed on the book’s blurb that there had been a proposed Star Trek film to be directed by Philip Kaufman. How incredible might that have been I wondered? One of the most underrated films in my opinion is his ‘The Right Stuff’, detailing the American Space Race. His idea for relaunching Star Trek on the big screen was to have Spock trapped in space with a rival Klingon, which sounds like a remake of John Boorman’s Hell in the Pacific in a sci-fi mould. Unfortunately there was something of a personality clash between Kaufman and the producers, not to mention the ever-protective Gene Roddenberry, killing the project.
Years later a movie with a very similar plot called Enemy Mine was released, starring Dennis Quaid as the human trapped on an inhospitable planet with a hostile alien warrior. This is part of the fascination for me – film pitches never really die. They haunt the boulevards of Hollywood until their chance arrives to be recycled. So many of these ‘movies never made’, eventually are made – but in a different form (and usually poorly executed).
In the end the reason for movies dying before conception has been assured is typically one of financial risk. Movie producers are some of the most compulsive gamblers there are (although cinema audiences are not far behind) and every project, regardless of popular recognition or projected profits, is always a risk. Frequently movie fans complain about the sense of diminishing returns from current pictures. One obvious reason is that despite the drop in quality (compare Judd Apatow to the wit of Billy Wilder) audiences continue to pay to see whatever is showing in the cinema. There are reports that box office numbers are falling, which will hopefully provoke Hollywood into trying to rectify this decline in quality, but the sceptic in me suspects otherwise.
David Hughes’ book focuses on one narrow cinema genre – science fiction. The properties adapted into pictures would typically be based on or inspired by pulp writing of the Amazing Fantasy variety. Arthur C. Clarke and Stephen King were early novelist luminaries, but how famous would they have been without the brand recognition granted by the cinema? Today there has been a further shift. The glut of comic book adaptations can be directly attributed to two movie studios owning most of the properties – Warner Brothers and Marvel Entertainment. The risks are minimal. Comic book films are something of a guilty pleasure. Many people know the characters, but few read them. There’s even an additional source of recognition in console game tie-ins like Marvel’s Ultimate Alliance or the upcoming Capcom game pitching the heroes of the DCU against the Mortal Kombat crowd. So let us not applaud this development as proof that Hollywood producers are all secretly nerds (and how much fanboy affection did that misconception stoke up). Rather these films are cheap to make and a guaranteed source of revenue on multiple fronts.
As a science-fiction enthusiast, I enjoy reading about the development of these projects. After a while though I have noticed the more I learned, the greater my cynicism. Which is why Hughes’ chapter on Douglas Adams, describing how the British writer was interminably wined and dined by Hollywood producers in Malibu, while failing to produce anything considered ‘filmable’, was something of a pleasure. In fact it struck me that Alan Moore’s attitude of why bother trying to adapt something for the cinema which is tailored for an entirely difference medium also applies here. The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy is more like a series of comedy sketches contained within a loosely defined plot. Any sense of narrative is accidental. The characters do not grow, they bumble along and encounter events sharing in the reader’s sense of surprise at each development. They are not subject to plot – they got the plot drunk and left him to sleep it off on the coach while they continued to enjoy the evening.
It’s so rare to read a story describing the failure of a film version of a property to come to fruition because the original creator was too wily for Hollywood. Generally the risk-shy producers use and abuse a number of writers, then chew up their work and spit it out as pabulum. That or the writer is offered the carrot of a possible deal and then is left stranded. In William Goldman’s classic adage ‘Nobody knows anything’, the reason being when the sole determining factor in a movie’s production is the bottom dollar there is no room for vision in the creator. There is nothing to know.
This is also why marketers insist on using the description of ‘visionary’ so often, because there is an essential lack of vision in Hollywood, less a dream factory, more an assembly line for a reliably useful products, like boxes.
Which underlines the real appeal of these movies that never were. In their failure to come to term, we are left with the idealized, wished for picture we’ll never see. Pure and uncompromised.