Somnopolis

Guardian LTD

….feckin’ Avatards….

Original photos here.

So yesterday George Lee, the great white hope of the Fine Gael party, TD for Dublin South and self-confessed economics expert, quit the Opposition as he was feeling unfulfilled in his role.

Basically he did a Palin.

Much like that other media whore, Lee feels hurt that the world was not handed to him on a platter. This is almost understandable. After all, here is a man who converted a career in doomsaying on RTE into a seat in the Dail. I’m sure he was convinced the only possible trajectory was upwards.

However, perhaps he should have borne in mind that he had in effect jumped the queue of arse-kissing, door-stepping and compromise that generally constitutes a political career in its infancy. Yes Enda Kenny is a gormless fool. Richard Bruton has failed to present anything that resembles a coherent economic policy. However, in no universe would it make sense to hand the control of the party to a newly arrived junior TD.

Its like the Lotto. You have to be in it, to win it. Fine Gael was the best ticket in town to oust the corrupt mandarins that have run Ireland into the ground. Change was possible from within. Having walked away, George is now just like the rest of us – another malcontent carping impotently from the wings. Having struck a possibly fatal blow to Kenny’s stewardship of the party, all he has in reality achieved is to weaken the country’s best bet of a rival to Fianna Fail. They have the numbers, but they need strong leadership and policies that eschew opportunism. It might have been possible to effect this change from within the party and once the election was secured, plot a leadership handover to a more suitable figure.

Once again, Irish politics leaves a bad taste in my mouth.

It’s always good to know where people’s priorities lie.

For example. The widespread destruction caused by last week’s earthquake in Haiti. Reading the reportage on this tragedy, I was surprised to discover that this is not a story about the suffering of thousands of Haitians and their incredible loss.

No this is in fact a story about how much of a dick Pat Robertson is. You may remember Pat, he also claimed that Hurricane Katrina was the result of gays hosting awards shows.

There’s a further comparative with Katrina here actually. Today’s Telegraph leads off with a headline about murder and looting on the island. The picture is of a Haitian man threatening another with a carving knife. Remember the stories of New Orleans becoming a hotbed of looting, rape and murder?

Whereas today’s Guardian headline leads with ‘No room in Haiti’s cemeteries but cruise ships still find a berth’, and carries a photo of a tourist vessel docked at a private pleasure beach.

It’s always nice to have a paper’s ideology nailed to the mast so prominently.

Euronews had an interesting moment when a Haitian/American woman described the earthquake as worse than 9/11, which she had also lived through as an aid-worker. So where’s the sympathy? A colleague angrily remarked that if Haitians are so poor (this was in relation to the Irish government providing aid) how could they afford that lavish presidential palace?

Oh you mean the proxy White House? That would be American money there. So little is known about Haiti in the West. So much is ignored.

He being the 42-year-old alleged attacker of Silvio Berlusconi, whom it is said struck the Prime Minister in the face with a metal souvenir and reportedly broke two of Il Attaccatura’s teeth.

Signore Tartaglia is described in the press as having been struggling with mental health issues, so I can only assume his doctors have succeeded in helping him recover his sanity recently.

I mean look at this guy:

Wouldn’t you?

Maybe you didn’t hear, but there was a football game the other night. France versus Ireland for a place on the ticket at the South Africa World Cup in 2010. France won.

Oh did you hear different? Well there was the little matter of Captain Thierry Henry handling the ball before passing to fellow player Gallas, who scored the deciding goal in extra time.

I wasn’t able to watch the game on the night and so was following the updates on Twitter.  Tweets such as “#Ireland #Ireland #Ireland #Ireland”, ensured that the game trended above the usual topics of pale vampires and abstinence. It all seemed to be going well, but then after refreshing the search topic close to the end the tone took a dramatic dip. “Fuck”; “Thierry you cheat! #France #Ireland”; “Hand of Frog!”

That last one appeared as a tabloid headline. Gosh Rupert Murdoch is a man of principle when it comes to sourcing online content, isn’t he?

So much anger, which still hasn’t abated. To play devil’s advocate though, many of the complaints regarding the linesmen and referee passing the illegal cross to Gallas ignore the fact that an Irish player also handled the ball in the game against Georgia (although it is widely judged that the Irish were the better team on the night).

Following the calls for a rematch, the Irish Football Association released the following statement to FIFA:

“There is precedent for the invalidation of such results. In 2005 the bureau of the FIFA World Cup organising committee reached a decision to invalidate the result of a World Cup qualification match between Uzbekistan and Bahrain on the basis of a ‘technical error by the referee’…The Football Association of Ireland is hoping FIFA and its disciplinary committee will, on behalf of football fans worldwide, act in a similar fashion so the standards of fair play and integrity can be protected.”

This is highly unlikely though, as FIFA and the Irish manager Trapattoni have commented that the decision was made to allow the goal by match officials on the night and that’s that.

Or is it!

Here comes the Irish government to the rescue:

“Thierry Henry has admitted handling the ball, claims he told the ref he handled it…..Millions of people worldwide saw it was a blatant double handball – not to mention a double offside – and we should put the powers that be in the cosy world of FIFA on the spot and demand a replay”.

Yes ‘passionate soccer fan’, Justice Minister Dermot Ahern taking time out from his busy schedule enforcing blasphemy laws to comment on the football. What about Taoiseach Brian Cowen? Well he took time out from an EU summit in Brussels to discuss the matter with President Sarkozy.

Ladies and gents we should be grateful, really, that our leaders are so concerned over the football results. As Minister Ahern has said It’s the least we owe the thousands of devastated young fans around the country. Otherwise, if that result remains, it reinforces the view that if you cheat, you will win.

Yes Minister, but where do your principles come into play as regards the banking class which have ‘cheated’, and robbed the Irish people, rendered private pension funds a joke? Where is your anger over the debt handed to the Irish people as a whole with NAMA? Or the fate of the young people who have no future in this country and are being forced to emigrate abroad to find work? Why does your government victimise the public service and levy their pensions, dock their pay and freeze out graduates from entry?

Oh fine, continue with the Frog bashing. Nice to have something safe to get angry about isn’t it?

The Slate is carrying an excellent article on the latest brouhaha over Rupert Murdoch’s accusations that Google steals News Corp content. His solution? Charge users for access to The Sun and New York Post etc. websites.

Jack Shafer’s article is here.

Much of the commentary re: Murdoch’s pronouncements has been quick to presume the old bird is losing it. The Aussie ex-pat’s gone barmy, squaking about Google stealing from him. He’s an old man scared by the modern world.

That’s a big assumption. Murdoch is an adept player, always has been. He’s survived this long and acquired a powerful media empire through expert brinkmanship.

What’s more I don’t feel like I should be cheering on one corporate monolith against another. Google’s reach grows with every year. As a company they continue to reap profits, where others have drowned due to the global recession. There is an internal policy that discourages workers from using ‘google’, as a verb. That underscores just how essential a part of modern life Google has become. They have nothing to worry about.

So I don’t believe that Murdoch is actually taking them on. He is positioning his corporate holdings to take advantage of the growing debate re: commercial use of the internet though. There is no doubt that his real target is, as always, the BBC, funded by licence fees and developing a strong online presence with thanks to the iPlayer and their international service. Murdoch’s manouverings generally tend to provoke confusion and fear in his rivals. Intimidation is his key tactic, from Fox’s baiting of Obama, to the Sun giving Brown’s Labour government its marching orders (all the while glossing over the fact that the Murdoch press was a key supporter of Labour’s policies up until and including the illegal invasion of Iraq).

Rupert plays the long game. It would be wise not to forget this.

Reviews have started to come in of our noble former Taoiseach Bertie Ahern’s biography. Most have been surprisingly fair and to the point.

Also today’s Sunday Business Post carried an interesting article on the collapse of Liam Carroll’s business empire.

I must confess I was surprised to learn the name of one of the groups due to come under receivership is Orthanc.

I mean…..Orthanc. That’s just fantasy lit shorthand for corruption, venality and greed. Well done Liam.

Also while this national recession is affecting many, recruitmentireland.com is here to help with a certain juicy role that just became available!

Next week – Brian Cowen drives a motorcar and is heard to remark ‘Toot Toot!’

The cliche tells us you should never meet your heroes. Turns out you shouldn’t follow their tweets either.

I’ve spoken here before about my admiration for Graham Linehan. Father Ted defined an era in Irish culture and further loosened the hold of the Catholic Church on the country. It’s also very funny and its popularity has ensured that phrases from the show still resonate today. An unlikely second wind for the slogan ‘Down With This Sort of Thing’, was provided by the anti-war protests in early 2003.  The Irish government, against the wishes of a large number of its citizens, aided and abetted the US in an illegal war, cleared the way for rendition flights to black-site detention centres and accused the protesters of ‘anti-Americanism’.

It was absurd, venal, corrupt, exactly the sort of event that Linehan and Matthews took opportunity to mock in Father Ted.

Then earlier this year when Tory MEP Daniel Hannon lambasted the NHS on the Fox Network, Graham Linehan rose to the occasion again and created the #welovetheNHS trending topic on Twitter. It proved to be immensely popular and served as a forum for Britons to fight back against the attacks launched on their healthcare services by American Republicans.

Just last Sunday I noticed a sticker outside Connelly Station. It showed Father Jack, as played by Frank Kelly on the show that gave his career a good kick up the arse. Here it is:

Today I checked my twitter feed and read the following -

“@Glinner RT @lukemcmanus No to Lisbon nutters are using Fr Jack on their posters here (cut that shit out!)

@Glinner Pro-Lisbon Treaty campaigners in Ireland! Feel free to use any ‘Father Ted’ images on placards & slogan “Up with this sort of thing”

@Munchious @Glinner Needless to say, I agree. Loathsome No To Lisbon nutters.”

Glinner is Graham Linehan’s Twitter ID. Munchious is Arthur Matthews.

Here’s my objection. I’m not religious. I’m not a nationalist. I am not a Eurosceptic. I have issues with both Coir’s ‘No’ campaign and those of the major political parties within the Dail, who have all with the exception of Sinn Fein/The Socialist Party (and neither of these carry any real weight within the government) swung in behind a ‘Yes’ vote for Lisbon. I came to my own conclusion regarding the treaty, without recourse to either side of this campaign. I find that this referendum has produced no real debate, has dealt primarily in scaremongering and misinformation.

Yet here are two writers I respect labeling those within the electorate who intend to vote No as ‘nutters’. They offer the use of their characters to a campaign which has far more funding and the support of the EU itself. Never mind that a majority voted against the same treaty 16 months ago and is being told to return to the ballot, as they ‘got it wrong’. Never mind that a vote against Lisbon is not a categorical vote against the concept of Europe, just the terms of *this* treaty, which has been returned with only superficial guarantees attached, that are in effect meaningless. Finally to support a campaign that has traded in insults and intimidation, repeatedly describing No voters as mentally ill, and what’s more to echo these sentiments?

Must be nice to trade in such absolutes.

Oh one more thing -
FECK OFF!

I talk about movies a lot and there’s one near universal rule where sequels are concerned: diminished returns.

It occurs to me that referendums have a similar problem. In many ways our government forcing us back to the ballot over the same treaty is a lot like the recent news that Rambo will be fighting werewolves in his next outing. Unnecessary and somewhat insulting.

The Irish electorate voted ‘No’, in the last referendum, much like they voted ‘No’ to Nice, which we also had to endure a second time until the government got the vote they desired.

The mind boggles. What is the point of a referendum if the result can simply be ignored? Why, above all, is the No campaign not focusing on this very simple point – we already voted on this issue. Go back to the drawing board and come up with a new treaty. Don’t offer insubstantial ‘guarantees’. It’s an insult to the supposed democracy we enjoy.

The only argument to vote Yes that has any merit is that a federalist system would unburden our own government of the pathetic job of governing they have attempted. However, if we endorse this prospect we have eliminated even the pretense of a direct relationship with a governing authority.

The government has promised a vote in favour of the Lisbon treaty would not result in the prospect of an abortion referendum finally being tabled in this country. If anything that made me feel even less inclined to vote for it. Before this country can take a stand in Europe, our own constitution needs to be re-assessed. We need to take stock of what our supposed values are – and who was surprised that the heretofore devoutly Catholic Irish government has adopted such a snide tone towards the pro-life campaigners in Coir?

Neither side of the campaign are debating the actual content of the Treaty. Both are practicing scare-mongering over and above rational argument. What position are we in to laugh at the ‘nutty’ Republican right in America with their mocked up signs of Obama as Hitler, when we are reduced to the very same tone of irrational ranting in the run-up to this referendum? Again!

I believe in the idea of Europe. I support a strong European market, that guides and develops member states. I do not understand why we as a people are being threatened with exclusion if we avail of our right to vote against this treaty. I do not understand, if it were the case that our government obscured the real purpose of the previous treaties from our entry into the EEC onwards, it is somehow the fault of the electorate if this is not achieved. Do I believe in a system of governance designed to rival the United States? Do I accept that there is only one possible outcome of this referendum? That our nation is incapable of change, on becoming less dependent on so-called ‘foreign investment’, that generates profits for off-shore companies?

No.

It is difficult to ascertain whether boycottscotland.com is the product of political opportunism, or idiocy.

The site proposes that American tourists and consumers, in protest at the Scottish government’s release of the Libyan prisoner Abdelbaset Ali Mohmed Al Megrahi due to ill-health, held since 2001 for the Lockerbie bombing, boycott all visits to Scotland, Scottish whiskey etc.

At times tangential, the site’s author also raves about British Petroleum and its hoarding of oil. Of America’s comparative secularity in response to the release being granted as per ‘Christian values’ (forgetting Edinburgh’s historical legacy as the site of the Scottish Enlightenment and the originator of many ’secular’, values of justice).

I consider this so much argumentative flak, distracting from the central issue, the release of a man with three months to live from prison.

There is a further caveat to this point – the presumed guilt of the prisoner Megrahi, widely photographed in the international media prior to being ‘identified’, by the central prosecuting witness, a shop-keeper from whose store an item of clothing found at the site of the plane-crash was purchased.

So ‘compassionate release’. How soon they forget. On 16/8/09 the release of John Yettaw was secured from Burma by US Senator Jim Webb. Mr Yettaw had swum across a lake to the home of Aung San Suu Kyi, convinced by a vision that she was shortly to be assassinated. The detained political prisoner had her sentence extended. Mr Yettaw was released into the custody of Senator Webb, taking into account his mental and physical health.

On 5/8/09 Laura Ling and Euna Lee, American journalists, were released from captivity in North Korea, following their arrest in March on the Korean/Chinese border. Former President Bill Clinton returned with them to the States, having travelled to the country to arrange for their release and availing of diplomatic back-channels to open dialogue with the entrenched, hostile nuclear power.

Condemnation is limited to political points scoring on the part of Republican pundits, angry that Obama’s administration had achieved such a coup.

Similar political opportunism is in evidence in the UK currently, with Labour performing a wonderful imitation of Pontius Pilate, washing their hands of the entire ‘Libyan’ affair, somehow being unable to stop those wild Scots from blackening their international reputation. This is a slap in the face of nascent Scottish independence, with the SNP having being handed a poisoned chalice by Brown’s government to create some distance between Number 10 and the release of Megrahi. 

The scolding from both the UK and US governments is especially galling in light of all of the above. The oft-cited letter of complaint from the FBI director is of especial interest, as the evidence presented by the department which convicted Megrahi was considered doubtful. If anything the Libyan prisoner may well have been a patsy, sent down to save face for the country and its reopened diplomatic relationship with the West (a mission that became far more urgent following September 11th and the drawing up of a schema of ’rogue states’).

So we have a tale of two proxies, Scotland and Megrahi, served up to excuse the respective parties from their own guilt. It is shameful that the SNP and the government at Holyrood should be bent over the knee of their elder sibling from down south and spanked in front of the world. Shameful that this ill-informed website should call for a boycott of the Scottish people’s native industries in a time of recession, especially given the burden of grief borne by the people of Lockerbie and their kindness to the families of the American victims.

Finally it is a disgrace that principles of compassion and morality should be decried following the abuses of Guantanamo and Abu Ghraib.

Long live Scotland.