Somnopolis

I recently watched the Nostalgia Critic’s Top 11 Villains songs piece and found it disappointing. I think in the main it’s because I agree with his statement that the villain generally gets the best tunes. To me though they should be show-stoppers, or slyly humourous, letting audiences in on the secret that sometimes it’s good to be bad.

Disney has come up with some classic villains and I note that the Nostalgic Critic has focused on them. I have chosen more life-action examples. Also I have stuck to songs from films, which rules out The Mighty Boosh’s Hitcher and Dr Horrible’s Singalong Blog.  So while any of these lists are subjective, the songs below are in my opinion some of the more enjoyable examples of vilainous ditties.

Why did I choose only nine? Because I just couldn’t be bothered

The Return of Captain Invincible is a superhero film with a difference. Starring Alan Arkin as an alcoholic superman and Christopher Lee as the villain (of course), this is also a musical in the vein of Rocky Horror. In this scene Lee sings Choose Your Poison, breaking the morale of the vulnerable hero at the climax of the film.

Gremlins 2 is Joe Dante’s lovesong to Warner Brothers cartoons,  a life-action pastiche of Chuck Jones inspired mayhem. The director was given carte blanche to reinvent his own original movie, as the studio in question were unable to produce a suitable sequel. And he returned to them a script that featured this little number.

Baz Luhrman’s Moulin Rouge is more than a musical. It’s a camp pop medley that segues from one ballad to another from moment to moment. What makes it for me is the evident commitment from the performers on screen. Who knew Jim Broadbent could look so good wrapped in a shawl pouting at the camera? Ok…maybe not, but it was a surprise! This take on Madonna’s Like A Virgin moves from Broadbent wildly improvising to mollify the Duke, to a full-blown song and dance number that ends with the villain morphing into Bela Lugosi right before our eyes. Great fun.

Disney’s Beauty and the Beast owes a lot to Jean Cocteau’s original film. Yet the surrealist classic doesn’t feature crowd pleasing songs. Here the villain Gaston, loosely modelled on Jean Marais, whips up a mob with fear of the Beast.

Could this be the best David Bowie music video? Well it’s better than Absolute Beginners anyway. Also a neat tribute to M. C. Escher.

Now as I’m avoiding the Nostalgia Critic’s choices, it seems odd to choose the same film. But honestly while Steve Martin gets the laughs as the dentist, Audrey II’s cry of ‘Feed Me Seymour’ beats it hands down. The Little Shop of Horrors – It’s just as much fun as you remember.

Matt Stone and Trey Parker have joked that their inspiration for this song from Team America was the hope that it would get an Oscar nomination and maybe inspire reclusive dictator and film fanatic Kim Jong Il to sing it himself at the ceremony. Not bloody likely.

The Southpark boys once more. Doing what Milton couldn’t do for people who were unable to finish Paradise Lost…make Satan sympathetic.

Ron Moody’s Fagin in the 1968 film production of Oliver! also gives us a sympathetic villain. A man who uses child pick-pockets and lives off the proceeds of their crimes. And yet you still like him somehow.

Nylithia’s Myspace page.

God bless the Rubberbandits.

Oh Gordon…

Guardian LTD

….feckin’ Avatards….

Original photos here.

It’s always good to know where people’s priorities lie.

For example. The widespread destruction caused by last week’s earthquake in Haiti. Reading the reportage on this tragedy, I was surprised to discover that this is not a story about the suffering of thousands of Haitians and their incredible loss.

No this is in fact a story about how much of a dick Pat Robertson is. You may remember Pat, he also claimed that Hurricane Katrina was the result of gays hosting awards shows.

There’s a further comparative with Katrina here actually. Today’s Telegraph leads off with a headline about murder and looting on the island. The picture is of a Haitian man threatening another with a carving knife. Remember the stories of New Orleans becoming a hotbed of looting, rape and murder?

Whereas today’s Guardian headline leads with ‘No room in Haiti’s cemeteries but cruise ships still find a berth’, and carries a photo of a tourist vessel docked at a private pleasure beach.

It’s always nice to have a paper’s ideology nailed to the mast so prominently.

Euronews had an interesting moment when a Haitian/American woman described the earthquake as worse than 9/11, which she had also lived through as an aid-worker. So where’s the sympathy? A colleague angrily remarked that if Haitians are so poor (this was in relation to the Irish government providing aid) how could they afford that lavish presidential palace?

Oh you mean the proxy White House? That would be American money there. So little is known about Haiti in the West. So much is ignored.

I am sad to report I have only now discovered The Wire. This scene made me laugh out loud. I keep imagining how the pages of script must have read.

“Fuck”

“Fuck”

“Motherfuck!”

etc.

He’s back baby!

Granted it’s only a preview, but our favourite Star Wars critic is preparing to unleash a new ‘review‘ of the prequels, this time Attack of the Clones.

Plus bonus – the trailer is a neat mash-up of Johnny Cash and Star Wars footage. Given our pizza roll loving film critic is locked up in the slammer, y’see.

Great stuff.

Man George Lucas’ subtext just ate itself.

Folks it is ten years since The Phantom Menace was released. Funny hunh. Seems so long ago.

An impression perhaps reinforced due to the divorce between our expectations of the film and the eventual result. This abiding sense of disappointment has become something of a joke in years since, with pop culture shows often riffing on the fanboy rage that followed. Everything from Tim Bisley’s anti Jar-Jar rant in Spaced, to Liz Lemon interrupting a date to express her distate for  Attack of the Clones in 30 Rock, is testament to the bemused contempt with which the Star Wars prequels are now viewed.

Simon Pegg has always been a very vocal critic of the films, using Spaced as something of a platform for his love/hate relationship with the franchise. So it is no surprise that he was behind my discovery of last night. Retweeting a message from Lost’s Damon Lindelof containing a link to a youtube video said to be ‘life changing’, I found a seven-part review of The Phantom Menace, released by Mike from Red Letter Media.

The identity of the reviewer himself is never revealed during the video – for reasons that become apparent later – which is composed of multiple freeze-frame gags and scenes from the prequels narrated in a monotonous voice, dripping with weary contempt. Scifiwire.com gives an early article on the proceedings here.

As the ‘review’ progresses, which is more a diatribe on Lucas’ seeming inability to recapture his glory days and his failure as writer/director to establish such basics as plot, character and structure within the prequels, disturbing hints as to Mike’s identity emerge. He makes reference in his deadened voice to several bizarre acts and a troubled family life, until we discover he is a fully fledged homicidal sociopath.

At this point the review is transformed into an all-out satire on Star Wars fandom and the excesses encouraged by Lucasfilm itself. Footage of fanboys screaming as they launch themselves into the cinema screening the first prequel is all-too-reminiscent of Twifans. We also have samples of interviews from Rick Baker and Lucas himself discussing the seeding of background characters in the films, for later toy-franchising. Then we cut to a younger, trimmer Lucas in the 1970’s discussing how special effects should only be used as a tool and that the importance of story is paramount.

The comparison is clear. The earlier films are again and again shown to be the product of passionate imagination and a desire to tell a story that is compelling to audiences. The prequels, fatally, focus on expanding the franchise, with a plot composed more out of box-ticking exercises, thinly fleshing out the mentions of Obi Wan and Anakin’s penultimate duel, or the often-speculated upon Clone Wars.

They say revenge is a dish best served cold. This is a poison letter that was ten years in the offing. Watch all seven episodes, they are seventy minutes of surreal wonderment.